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Oh thank you all from the bottom of my heart, the lovely words expressed here are just amazing and so comforting to me, i thank you all for taking the time to come here and post them,i will treasure them forever.
Today has been hard, getting up was the worst, not finding her there to greet me, yes looking after a terminally ill patient is very emotionally and physically demanding,but when it all ends you just want it to be like that again, i know in time it will make life easier, but truthfully i would rather have my wee girl back.
Every morning, i had to mash her food up, heat it in the microwave, and then pat and stroke, her and talk to her to encourage her to eat, for over two years now first with her mouth problem and then the cancer,then one had to use the fork to push up a bit so she could eat it easier, Ellie always responded to the pats and chats, even in the last few days, i would sit right beside her, and say come on sweetie you can do it,and she would eat for me, even just a little, i felt she did it just to please me,especially in those last days.
I finished decorating her box this morning, and when my daughter gets home to say her goodbyes, and put her messages there i will post a pic of her before we bury her out in the courtyard, she will be in a place that i saved for her, i had it in my mind all a long,but did not want to share it, as i just kept hoping Ellie would beat this, although she tried, and my gosh she tried so hard, a real little fighter with so much spirit ,alas it was not to be.
She will be so close beside me, i have a table and chairs right beside where her grave will be and it is by my chair.
I am so fortunate to have such caring friends here that understand so well how i feel, i also have a close friend who has been ringing me with support, my hubby is great, a facebook friend wonderful, and my mother came over to hug me and see Ellie,even those who don't really understand quite the same as we do here, are kind because they love me and hate seeing me in pain.
I also wanted to say i am so sorry for others who have posted here, that the pain of loosing their beloved furbaby is still so raw, and i hope in time you will feel better, time does heal, but it takes it's time.
I am worried about Nikkita, i am not sure if she is a bit off colour at the moment, but she is also sad, i can see it, i feel so much for her poor furbaby, this is her mama, she has been with her all her life, she has had a few sniffs of her , but that is all,but she just looks sad, and is being a bit odd,a bit distance, but i just give her lots of cuddles and love.
I made the decision not to replace any of my furbabies as they pass on a while ago, financially it has been extremely difficult and i just want the best for any kitty i have, we have done as best we could, and i don't out rule owning one cat, but it will be either none or just one,also the emotional toll on me has just been too much,don't think i can take much more, two kitties lost in two years.
I am already thinking about the lovely memories i have of my special girl, how when she first came here, I would hear this unusual chirpy loud noise outside, and i would find Ellie outside with a stick or maybe a sausage, gosh knows where she got that from, she was letting me see it, so funny, she also used to follow me and stay outside the bathroom when i was having a bath, and start her miaowing, i often just had to let her in to see me, this was in the much earlier days, most of these she has stopped in later years,how she used to just sit there and stare at me constantly until i got up and fed her,this was in the later years when the steriods made her constantly hungry, i never could feed her enough then.I remember how an easily stressed wee cat she was, hated thunder, storms ,guy fawkes, always wanted outside at these times, because she was a complete outdoor kitty when i rescued her, she saw outside as her safe haven, but after a year or two she finally realised inside was the safest place to be.
I also remember the day i was really sick, how she jumped up on the bed sat very near my head and went to sleep, this was most unlike her as she was not one to snuggle up on the bed with you, i think she sensed it , she was a very sensitive cat and she came to comfort me,in fact i am convinced of it.
Yes Ellie was different to any other cat i have ever owned or known,she was very very special, i will miss her so much, i just still not imagine how life will be without her, just sad and hard, but i know in time things will heal, she will never be forgotten and is within my heart and memories forever.
GOODBYE my gorgeous girl, until we meet again my precious girl, LOVE YOU FOREVER.:love::love::love::love::love::love::love: :love::love:
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I am so sorry to hear of Ellie passing. :love: I know how hard it is to make that decision. Play hard at the Bridge, Ellie Mae. You fought the good fight and now you have your rest and freedom from pain. Look in on us here at Pet Talk from time to time, please. :love:
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I knew it was the right time, Ellie let me know and i think she was going to go away somewhere to die, she knew it too,it is a very hard call, but we just have to make it sometime, no matter how heartbreaking it is, yep i reckon she is up there at the Rainbow Bridge now, sorting Ash out, they had rather an odd relationship, not that friendly, both tried to be boss cat, i think Ellie won most of the time.
I have to bury her soon, i just don't want to let go of her, i want her here forever, just to see her everyday and stroke her, until she is buried it still does not seem real and she is still with me, even though i know she is no longer alive, it comforts me, but i have to do it, let her go,hard as it is.
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God bless you, Carole, and bring peace and comfort to you and all who love dear beautiful little Ellie-mae so much.
Love and hugs and purrs :love::love::love::love::love::love::love::love:,
Pat and the cats
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Thank you Pat and everyone here who has been so kind.
I thought i would post some pics of my Ellie, some of my favourites and also nikki and her together, then i have some of the her finished little coffin before we bury her tonight.
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Two more of my precious girl.
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Ellie's final resting place.
Ellie will have a little plaque made in gold, it is plastic, but looks the real thing, Ash has one, it will say much Treasured furbaby,Ellie-Mae 1999-2012 with two paw prints each side, it will be screwed on to the edging around the garden.,will post a pic when i have it.
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What a beautiful resting place..Godspeed Ellie..pretty girl.
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Such a beautiful girl, and so beloved. Godspeed, sweetest Ellie-mae.
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RIP Ellie-mae
She is a beautiful kitty! I feel your pain and sadness. I too just recently lost my Rusty to cancer. The meds gave us an extra six months together for which I'm very grateful. When the time came to say goodbye it seemed so sudden, even though I knew it was coming. But as soon as I saw he had crossed the threshold from being "comfortable" to actually suffering I let him go. You did the right thing. Otherwise she would have stayed beyond her condition. It was the most loving thing you could have done, and the most difficult. Sending prayers and hugs your way.
"The only pain or sadness you ever brought me…..was the day you left me." -Carolyn Scott, about her dancing dog, Rookie.
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We are so sory to hear about Ellie Mae Carole:(
I know that Ellie Mae will alwys be a part of your life as Ebony Beau Tubster, Orangie , Muchkin and Buster Kitten will be part of mine.
They too were Cats who went too early and too young.
We have printed a photo of Elie Mae for Our Awesome Anges Photo Book, and she will be part of our Lunch and Dinner excursions.
And she will find just that place where you can all be reunited in love FurrEver.
One Fine Day.:love:
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My deepest sympathies, Carole. You loved Ellie-mae so devotedly, so totally. I know she knew the strength of your love, and it will sustain her until you two meet again. She was a beauty.
Johanna
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I'm very sorry for your loss of Ellie-mae. :(
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Thanks to everyone here, and Gary that is so sweet,i appreciate every single comment, and all the support you have given me,days are tough, miss her so much,so much reminds me of her, i just feel lost without her, Nikki is grieving, that i am sure of too, she just has a sad look in her eyes, she looks depressed,poor baby , only knows her mama is no longer here, not why? so sad,breaks my heart yet again.
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Carole, I just came here to check the new PT look, and then I saw the sad news... :( I'm so very sorry about your loss! (((HUGS)))