Inlaws living with you

**NicoleLJ** · 08-15-2010, 10:41 PM

Just wonder what others thoughts on this would be. If people had asked me in my first marriage if I would even consider living in the same house as my then Inlaws or even my own mother, I would have said over my dead body. For my sanity there was no way I would have considered it no matter how desperate someone was. If that makes me a bad person oh well. My mother is severly physically and psychologically abusive and my ex's parents always treated me like I was worthless and was not worthy of being a part of their family. So was not going to ever happen.

But when the situation came up with my fiances mom and her rent increase I didn't even hesitate at suggesting we all get a place. Part of me was nervous. Wondering if we would all get along but it has been easy as pie. We were lucky enough to find a very large place with a 2 car garage. She has a full 1 bdr basement suite downstairs and we have the whole upstairs and the extra bedroom down. We both respect each others privacy and knock and call up or down when we want to visit the other. Even the kids know to ask Grandma May before going down to her place. I cook most of the meals except for once a week where she provides the meal. We always eat outside which is awsome. I take care of the whole clean up as well for all meals. I provide all the baking and drinks while guest are here which is every day. I love it. And my MIL seems to be doing a lot better as well and seems a lot less stressed and not as tired physically. She is 77 and has a very bad hip. She and I are so alike in things we enjoy and even in personality that we get along awsome.

What do you all think about living with inlaws? Would you ever consider it?

**aTailOf2Kitties** · 08-16-2010, 07:07 AM

I'm not married but been with the same guy for over 10 years. His whole family adores me and we all get along swimmingly. I wouldn't hesitate to live in the same house with them if necessary.

Although my boyfriend would probably rather neuter himself with a rusty pitchfork than move in with my parents, LOL

**Pinot's Mom** · 08-16-2010, 07:33 AM

This situation came up in our household in a rather unpleasant way. My husband's mother, who had been widowed, was ill and could no longer live on her own. I said, without hesitation, of course she'll live with us. When we bought the house we currently own, that was part of the consideration, although we didn't know the circumstances at the time, we just knew there could be a possibility of her living with us sometime. She lived with us about a year until she passed on. It was a very special period of time in many ways. She and I got to know each other in a way we never would have.

**Taz_Zoee** · 08-16-2010, 09:44 AM

I am also not married but have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. I think I could live with his mother. She would not be nosey and would respect our privacy.
Now, he probably (and I don't blame him) wouldn't want to live with my parents. But I don't think we need to worry about that, so we are safe.

That's great that you get along with your MIL so well. It really helps your relationship with your husband. I know so many people who can't stand their MIL and they make them miserable (and they don't live with them!).

**Pembroke_Corgi** · 08-16-2010, 09:58 AM

If we didn't have any kids, I might let them stay with us for a while if they needed help. With our daughter, I wouldn't want them here. They aren't bad people or anything but my FIL has some behaviors I don't want my daughter around. I'd much rather have my mom here, and so would my husband.

**RICHARD** · 08-16-2010, 10:46 AM

In-laws, Out laws...

What is the difference?

**Husky_mom** · 08-16-2010, 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by NicoleLJ

Would you ever consider it?

not if my life depended on it!!!..

I´ve been there done that for a while (before my house was finished we lived with them and I almost wanted to die.. hehe, they are not bad people but we just don´t "click" at all.. and I hate people telling me to do stuff on their schedule and pace).. so not doing it again..EVER!!

well.. I still have some inlaws with me..BIL.. still uggh.. but not as uggh as the bigger inlaws.. lol

I so wish everyone went to their own place.. for good..

I could not live with my parents either.. they are awesome but I feel the need for privacy and it would be awkward living with them.. more so for my hubs than for me.. but it would still be a bit for me too as now we would be under different terms.. just weird..

even living next door would be weird.. same block maybe.. same city, ok... I like the idea of being able to visit.. but just that.. VISIT..

**Twisterdog** · 08-18-2010, 08:38 PM

Originally Posted by aTailOf2Kitties

Although my boyfriend would probably rather neuter himself with a rusty pitchfork than move in with my parents, LOL

That's hilarious.

I think it depends entirely on the people involved. Some people get along, some don't, doesn't matter the formal titles involved.

My mother will probably have to move in with either my sis or I at some point in the not-too-distant future. And that's fine. My husband and my mother get along great. In fact, they share a lot more political and social views than he and I do!

I would find it very difficult to live with his mother, though. Not that I don't like her, I do, but I don't know her very well. I've seen her three times since we've been married. My husband is not close to her at all, and she lives in a different state.

**snakemama** · 08-18-2010, 11:19 PM

My husband and I lived with my mother in law for a year or so after we were married - there were various medical/financial difficulties going on, and she was generous enough to share her lovely condo with us. While things were not perfect, I wouldn't hesitate to live with her again if the situation warranted it. She is a total sweetheart and I adore her.

My FIL and his wife, I would welcome into our home. My mom too. My dad...no. I put up with enough of his garbage and abuse growing up, I won't share a home with him again.

**Marigold2** · 08-19-2010, 08:54 AM

All depends on the parties innvolved. It can be heaven or hell. Each family is different. One can only hope for the best and be fair if that need arises.

**moosmom** · 08-19-2010, 09:53 AM

Living with your in-laws (at least MINE anyway) is like having a root canal with no novacaine. Oh HELL no!!!

**pomtzu** · 08-19-2010, 10:10 AM

I would think a lot would depend on if you are personality compatible. I could have lived with my in-laws much more so than with my own parents. My FIL always had me laughing, and we got along great, and my MIL wasn't too bad. I loved my parents - don't get me wrong - but I just couldn't have lived with them.

My father even made the suggestion one time that he would finish the basement for an apartment for me and my now ex. We thanked him and declined the offer.

**Husky_mom** · 08-19-2010, 11:59 AM

Originally Posted by moosmom

Living with your in-laws (at least MINE anyway) is like having a root canal with no novacaine. Oh HELL no!!!

lol.. seems like we share the same inlaws... lol...

**moosmom** · 08-19-2010, 12:16 PM

Husky Mom,

I KNEW I should've run out the door when both in-laws wore BLACK to my wedding!!! That and my soon-to-be (now ex) wearing a 3 piece leisure suit. Too bad I threw out my wedding pictures. They would've made for some great laughs and conversation.