I thought I would update the other thread here. Some of these details are more for me to be able to remember than anything else.
Morgan did very well for several days. I was glad that I stayed home from Florida to be with him. Those were excellent days for us.
Last Wednesday I had to go dog sit. I just basically went over a few times to walk him and then spent the night there.
I got up Thursday morning I got up before 5 to come home and be with Morgan for awhile. He sat with me, and we had our normal quality time together. I had to do that so early because I that morning I had to be at the house I cleaned at 7:30. I went back and took the dog back out for a walk. Then I went across town to give the cat I was watching his insulin. I made it to work on time too! That afternoon after walking the dog again, I came home. Morgan and I took a very good 2 hour nap snuggled together.He was not eating or drinking very much.
Friday after doing the running back and forth between the dog sitting house and my house, I did my normal stuff. I did pick up some more Torb pain medicine and a variety of wet food. He ate and ate! That was so good to see. At the vet's office they reminded me that the metacam was a good pain medicine. So Friday night I gave him the metacam.
Saturday he just picked at his food. He would eat but only the smallest amounts. Saturday evening, I gave him more metacam and then he ate significantly more. It wasn't a lot, but compared to what he had been eating, it was significant. Shortly after eating, he threw it up. I did not want to have to drive him to the ER Vet, but I would not let him be in pain or suffer. After a few minutes, he calmed down and seemed good. This entire time, he was still acting like himself. He'd come sit with me and knead on my belly. He'd played with some of his toys. But he would walk over and look at his food or his water like he wanted it and then just walk away. I knew then I wasn't going to let him get any worse. I didn't sleep at the dog's house Saturday night. I went over there at 11PM and 5AM to walk him. Morgan started to sleep next to me but ended up sleeping on the floor behind where I was sleeping. I could hear his little breathing sounds. Around 4 he came up and cuddled with me. When he left, I went to walk the dog.
I woke up Sunday trying to decide if I needed to take him to the ER Vet or if we could wait until Monday and have him go where he knew the staff. Sunday wasn't bad. I didn't give him any more metacam. I'd just given him the Torb pain medicine. He wouldn't act like he was in pain. When he'd eat mostly, something bothered him. Sunday night he ate and drank a lot.
I went to sleep pretty well Sunday night but woke up around 2 AM. Around 2:15ish Morgan came in and fell asleep on my purring away. He was there for about half an hour or so. Then all of a sudden he took off out the door. I didn't know what was wrong. I was hoping he wasn't in pain. I waited several minutes and was just about to go back to sleep when I heard him back in the room crying. I jumped out of bed and turned on the light. To my utter shock, he had a dead mouse in his mouth for me! It was the strangest thing ever. He had caught a mouse his first week here with me when he was only 6 weeks old. Over the years, I had received a couple of mice as presents. I just couldn't believe I got one this morning.
I hope this helps remind me that he was never suffering. He was always Morgan. I still knew that every day he would get worse and never better. I refused to let him suffer. He was always a dignified, elegant cat. I would not let him lose that dignity, just so I could keep him with me a few more days. He did eat and drink some this morning as well. It wasn't anywhere his usual amount would have been, but he wasn't hungry.
I held him in my arms, wrapped in his gray blanket that we got with Fresh Step points and held him on the way to town. (In searching for that thread, I just realized that we received that blanket 2 days short of one year ago. How ironic!) I knew that my mom would want to go, but my dad also came to the vet's office with us. Once we got there, things were very peaceful and dignified. I would have wanted nothing less of Morgan. He just went to sleep laying his head on my arm while my mom used his "lubglub" to brush his fur.
I left his blanket with him. I'm having him cremated. I've never done that before. I'm not sure if I will want to keep his ashes or not. I've thought about planting a flowering crab apple tree and sprinkling them around it. But he was never outside. So I don't know. I do know that I'm going to have Glacier make me a memory bead or two. I think I may use some ashes for that. That way no matter what I end up doing with the box, I will always be able to have him with me in a way.
I keep telling myself that with time the sadness subsides but the memories last forever. Those memories will be precious ones for sure. Unlike many of you, the "rainbow bridge" doesn't bring me comfort. I believe that death is like a deep sleep. One day people will wake from that sleep and be resurrected so that we can be reunited with them, I just don't know that animals have that same hope. So for me, my comfort comes from knowing that Morgan is not and will never suffer and that his memory will live forever with me and those that loved him, and that he loved in return. I was able to make some paw prints in clay of his front feet. I loved his front paws! Especially when he would reach out and touch my face with one of them.
I've never been able to come up with words to describe him to submit his story for being a Cat of the Day. Perhaps that is because to me he was a Cat of a Lifetime. I will at least try to put together a tribute to post here with his "story" including how he got his names. I don't know if I've ever shared it on here before. The blanket link has some pictures of him. Here are a couple more. When I post his tribute, I'll pick a few more to add. He certainly had my heart, and I know I had his also.
May 6, 1998 - October 5, 2009
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