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Thread: I have always dreaded this day...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Sunny Florida
    Posts
    1,591

    I have always dreaded this day...

    Dear Boo,

    As a mommy I know sometimes I have to make very hard decisions, letting you go is the hardest decision I have ever had to make but because I love you so I knew I had to do right by you regardless of the excrutiating pain it has caused me. I still have a hard time grasping the fact that you were fine, your normal self yesterday morning and at around 5 p.m...you were gone. I stayed with you as I promised, I did not want you wondering where I went and I know you would stay with me.

    You have changed me as a person. You had a paw in creating the person that I have become. You showed me love no matter my mood, stood beside me no matter the choice I made. You were there, always with soulful loving eyes and listening ears. You are my heart dog.

    I was lying in bed last night, crying, thinking of you, listening to hear you breathing, the silence was maddening...when suddenly Champs breathing grew louder, the rhythm changed, she sounded just like you. I believe you were letting me know that you are still here with me. I looked for you this morning. You did not come over to get me so you could eat your breakfast or go out to potty. You did not bark when Oma showed up this morning to check on me...no one did. There was no happy "where's my cookie" dance and bark. The house is not the same. It is to quiet here...the silence actually hurts my ears. I listen so hard to hear something, your bark, your sigh, anything. We missed you at lunch today...you were not there to tell us it was taking us to long to eat...there was no airy whine coming from your spot telling us to hurry along your belly was hungry.

    I slept with your pillow last night, I needed you near me. I smelled you this morning in the bedroom. I know it was you. There was no smell...then all of a sudden you were there...right beside me where you always were.

    I cry and I try to remember all the wonderful times I had because of you, the laughs that you brought me. I would swear there was a person in there somewhere, a loving caring person. You are forever my Boo.

    My life changed forever in September of 2000 when I saw that boxer puppies 4 sale sign and turned around "just to look". I knew you were the one, I felt it immediately. You came home with me that day. You wowed me with your intelligence and I think for the first time I had a dog, that wasn't "just a dog"...you were my family, my son, Jordan's brother. I have always known the bond between you and I was one of a kind...a bond I think only we could truly understand. I remember the sighing you would do in my ear when you were content. The kisses you would give me, the soft warm kisses of true love. The stare you would give when you were trying to communicate something...those deep brown eyes looking right into the heart of me. I knew you...I knew what you wanted.

    I knew our time was closing, I wanted more but I guess even if we had been given a year I still would have wanted more. There would never be enough time. I would give anything in the world to have had you forever.

    I thank you for loving me, for making me smile, for being my best friend...I thank you for being you.

    My life will never be the same because of you, I am forever greatful for every moment that we had together. I am greatful that I worked at home and you were by my side always. I am greatful for all the times that you opened the bathroom door so you could see what I was doing...or the times you waited outside the door for me to come out. You were always there...I don't exactly know how to handle you not being there.

    Love,
    Your forever broken hearted Mom

    Duke "My Boo"
    8/7/00-01/20/10


    The day my life changed...

    The way I will always remember you.

    ~Traci, Duke, Champ, Chopper and Ryleigh

    On occasion I have been know to speak Chopperese.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Deep-N-Heart of Tx && My Babie's Hearts
    Posts
    15,555
    Oh my I am so in tears right now Honey.. I am so sorry that Boo had to go so soon.. Well it was so dear you was there for him.. And I know it was for the best.. RIP bigg boy Boo.. Play hard at the Bridge ok & keep watching down & winking at your mom.. Huggss Huggss
    Last edited by lvpets2002; 01-21-2010 at 03:23 PM.

    ~~~Thank You Very Much {Kim} kimlovescats for the Grand Siggy~~~

    [[ Furr Babies are Like Potato Chips **** No One Can Have Just One ]]
    ****** Kindness, Mercy & Justice to All Living Creatures ******
    {{{{{Everyday is a Gift = That's why it's Called the Present }}}}}
    ((( Each Day With Our Pets is a Surprise Package Waiting to be Opened )))
    <Sunsets are God's Reminder to Us That At The End of the Day We're All In This Together>

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Delaware, USA - The First State/Diamond State - home of The Blue Hens
    Posts
    9,321
    How heartbroken you must be. I know your pain as I have been there too many times.

    We were all hoping that Duke had more time, but only you could know when the time was right. Don't ever doubt yourself, because Duke never will.

    RIP Duke, and peace to you and all of your family, Traci.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Wolfy ~ Fuzzbutt #3
    My little dog ~ a heartbeat at my feet

    Sparky the Fuzzbutt - PT's DOTD 8/3/2010
    RIP 2/28/1999~10/9/2012
    Myndi the Fuzzbutt - Mom's DOTD - Everyday
    RIP 1/24/1996~8/9/2013
    Ellie - Mom to the Fuzzbuttz

    To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
    Ecclesiastes 3:1
    The clock of life is wound but once and no man has the power
    To know just when the hands will stop - on what day, or what hour.
    Now is the only time you have, so live it with a will -
    Don't wait until tomorrow - the hands may then be still.
    ~~~~true author unknown~~~~

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    California
    Posts
    11,778
    Traci, I am so so very sorry. I am also in tears here at work and I just had one tissue left. I can now say I know exactly how you feel. This is what I went through with my Taz. That was my first experience and I dread any more. But I know there will be more. And I'm thankful to have this place called Pet Talk to come for support. That's exactly what I would like to give you, support. If you weren't half way across the country I'd give you a hug.

    RIP Duke, keep visiting your mom, let her know you are okay.

    (I need to go find more tissue)
    Our goal in life should be - to be as good a person as our dog thinks we are.

    Thank you for the siggy, Michelle!


    Cindy (Human) - Taz (RB Tabby) - Zoee (RB Australian Shepherd) - Paizly (Dilute Tortie) - Taggart (Aussie Mix) - Jax (Brown & White Tabby), - Zeplyn (Cattle Dog Mix)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2000
    Location
    Wichita Falls, TX U.S.A.
    Posts
    4,455
    I'm so sorry to hear about Duke Rest in peace, beautiful friend. I am glad to have gotten to know your sweet boy through PT. He is in a good place now but I know how bad it hurts. I STILL cry over the loss of my Graham Dog.

    I'm so sorry for your loss

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Cincinnati, Ohio USA
    Posts
    11,467
    I am so sorry for your precious loss. What a beauty he was, and what a wonderful, long life he had. May he be restored to full health and doing the famous boxer wiggle at the Bridge, holding it back just a bit until he sees you again.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Wiltshire England
    Posts
    1,650
    Traci, I am so sorry I know how much you loved your sweet boy, and I am positive he loved you just as much. He had a great life, with one of the best dog owners I know.... ((hugs))

    RIP gorgeous Duke... have fun at the RB and make sure to watch over your mummy ok?

    ((Hugs))

    -Ellie

    'If everyone else's opinion is what matters, then do you ever really have one of your own?'- Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Middle Tennessee, USA
    Posts
    2,693
    What a touching post. I am so sorry you lost your Duke. Cancer is a terrible thing. I can't believe how many dear pets and people I've heard of that have contracted it in the past year. Time will help that terrible searing pain subside. You'll always have the memories and you will always miss your dear boy too. Hugs to you and the rest of the crew.

    Time helps the sadness subside, but the memories remain forever.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Windham, Vermont, USA
    Posts
    40,850
    Rest in peace, handsome boy, knowing that your legacy of love will last forever.
    I've Been Frosted

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Cleveland, Ohio
    Posts
    5,486
    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Duke.. Big hugs going out to you.
    You're the one sure thing I've found so you better stick around...
    Best Fireman in da House´10
    dedicated to the kindest,loveliest and always helpful man that one would be honored and proud to know........R.I.P. Dear Phred

  11. #11

    A Loving Tribute to a Loving Friend.

    Rest In Peace, Dear Duke.

    {{{Hugs}}} for Traci


  12. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Calgary, Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    4,789
    I am so sorry you lost Duke so soon. I was praying like mad that you'd get much more time with him. You've written a lovely tribute to him, he'd be very proud. Hugs for you dearest, I know you need them.

    Duke, dear boy, you were so lucky to have been loved so much. I am glad to know you are no longer in any pain or discomfort. I've got a couple of girls there that you could look for, Sami, she's been there since '03 and Sasha, she just got there 3 months ago. I know they'd be good friends.
    Gayle - self proclaimed Queen of Poop
    Mommy to: Cali (14 year old kitten)
    (RB furbabies: Rascal RB 10/11/03 (ferret), Sami RB 24/02/04 (dog), Trouble RB 10/08/05 (ferret), Miko RB 20/01/06 (ferret) and Sebastian RB 12/12/06(ferret), Sasha RB 17/10/09 (border collie cross), Diego RB 04/12/21

  13. #13
    I'm so sorry. Traci, this came in a card from my vets after I had my RB Mandy PTS. It made me feel a bit better. Duke will always be in your heart.{hugs}

    Grieve not, nor speak of me with tears,
    but laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you...
    I loved you so -- t'was Heaven here with you.
    http://petoftheday.com/talk/signaturepics/sigpic9646_1.gif
    Forever in my heart...
    Casey.Ginger.Corey.Mandy.Sassy
    Lacey.Angel.Missy.Jake.Layla

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Methuen, MA; USA
    Posts
    17,105
    Traci, I read your loving tribute to Duke a bit earlier and was crying too much to be able to post. I've had a few who touched my heart, and I've had to make that final decision a few times as well.

    Bless you for all the wonderful things you did for Duke, and which you do for all your fur kids.

    Duke is now flying about happily pain free at Rainbow Bridge.

    I loved seeing his puppy photo, and of course the recent ones I remember so well.
    .

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    11,191
    Traci, I know you are heartbroken right now, but please know you did the best thing for him and no one can argue with that logic. Duke loved you and he was a gorgeous, handsome boy. I am so so sorry for your loss, I support you 100% and please accept my deepest condolences.

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