Some people...

[beeniesmom]

I joined a mommy group several months ago but just recently started bringing Laura to playdates. These ladies seem to be really nice and educated but I was shocked at what I heard yesterday. I'll explain: We had a mommy brunch and the children were at home with thier fathers so we had more time to talk. The subject of dogs came up. Of the 6 women there, ALL of them, had gotten rid of thier family pets when thier children were born. Excuses varied from the dogs/cats hid from the baby to 'puffy' growled at so and so. I was in awe that noone had tried to find a better solution. I didn't want to start anything so I just listened but had to say something when they were talking about what thier 'next' dog would be shortly. The whole thing just rubbed me the wrong way. I told them that they shouldn't have animals unless they were sure they could take care of them for the rest of thier lives. I may have ruffled some feathers but I don't care.

[pomtzu]

People like that really irritate me. Sure, there are times when a pet just doesn't adapt to a new skin kid, but I really believe that those times are few and far between. These people just appear to have throw away pet mentality - and the pets are no longer wanted/needed now that the new baby is here. Too sad........

[happylabs]

Makes me sad. People feel pets are disposable.

I think you did the right thing speaking your mind at the meeting.

When my son was born we had two Labs, Maggie and Jasper. Jasper immediately started sleeping under Caleb's crib when we brought him home from the hospital. All I remember is the dogs loving the babies. We made them part of the process. I have many pictures of my kids with the dogs. I think pets make a family whole.

I should scan some pics of my kids with the dogs when they were little and post them.

[Freedom]

GRrrrrrr

Glad you spoke up!

[Taz_Zoee]

Good for you for saying something!! I would have said something too. People that know me know I will not sit quitely when talk of animals is brought up.
In fact, a co-worker I was talking to the other day apologized to me before she even told me that her dog was not fixed.........yet. She said they are going to be getting him fixed soon. I just laughed. She knew I'd lecture her about it.

My brother and SIL got rid of their cat when my niece was born. But that was because even before she was born they just weren't giving him the attention he deserved. It had nothing to do with the cat and the baby living together. They found a good loving home for him. My SIL was sad to let him go, but knew it was best for him.

[Alysser]

That sounds like a horrible conversation to be stuck in. Must've been very awkward for you, especially seeing how much you love your babies. Being educated doesn't help ignorance sometimes, hopefully, they do not get any other pets.

[IRescue452]

I hate that, especially on CL where its "no time for 5 months old puppy with new baby around". How long did you know you were pregnant? A 5 month old puppy would have been purchased only 3 months before and you should have known you were pregnant. Sad fake excuse.

I work in an elementary school and over 2/3 of the kids have no pets at all. I'm shocked. I think kids need pets to keep them from being sociopaths. I have a coworker who has no pets and doesn't want them and she's a monster of a human with seemingly no capability to feel sympathy toward other humans or animals. She once told me in conversation that if she had to adopt because she was infertile (like one of the teachers), she said she wouldn't love the baby knowing it wasn't her own blood. Even if it was an infant. She also told me that I might have to just put the kitten back in the woods if we can't find it a home (when my mom rescued a kitten). She said it like it was nothing but passing conversation.

I've met her kids and they're turning just as bad. They watched her brother-in-laws dog for two days and she said her son (who had previously begged for a dog) was creeped out that it kept following him from room to room. He told her "I guess I don't like having a dog because it follows me". She and her kids refer to animals as "it" instead of he or she. To me this says the boy is already incapable of processing the bond that a kid should have with a dog. The dog wanted to be with him because the dog liked him, and he couldn't comprehend that. It just made me sick to my stomach to hear about it.

I wouldn't want to be around this mommy group by the sound of it. It seems to me like sociopaths incapable of compassion. What if they're kids turned your kid into one of them? The only thing I'd want to do is take their kids home and teach them to love animals.

[MonicanHonda]

Good for you for speaking up! My husband and I are going to begin trying to get pregnant, and I would never even think to give up my two furry babies. But it is sad because people do think an animal is something they can get rid of at the drop of a hat.

[ToBeEvergreen]

Eh, you spoke your mind. That's great. Ya didn't try to start anything, which some people do purposefully.

It leaves a bad taste in my mouth when people change their lifestyle and then consequentially get rid of animals. I do know people who have extenuating circumstances- had to take in a relative's kid, their children turned out extremely allergic, etc. One of my grammar school peers had a lot of cats and then developed a SEVERE cat allergy, and was very hurt about what to do about it.

I like you would do anything I had to do to keep a dog or cat, as they aren't disposable. Thrive on stability like children do too, which a lot of people don't take into account I'm sure. "Oh Fido is better off in another home where he can get more attention." Pfft..

[Varga]

Good for you that you said something, even though I know it can be very difficult.
I understand that sometimes giving up an animal is for the best but it seems far too common that once people have their first child they don't even try to make it work and I just don't understand that. I adopted my sisters dog (Kelly, a German Shepherd mix who is now passed away) after they had their first child. I would never have believed at the time that she would have let go of their dog so easily *shrug* I guess having kids just changes some people a lot? I don't have kids myself, so I know I don't fully understand the impact it has on ones life. But I sincerely hope that if I do have kids that I'll be able to manage caring for both my kid and my dog.

[Asiel]

Glad you spoke up.There's just too much of this "dogs are disposible" crap going on. I go through the pets for sale ads and the excuses are unbelievable. They're having a new baby so the dog has to go - they're having a hard time with finances , so dog has to go - they're moving so dog has to go - my life is too busy and the dog needs someone who has time for it- etc etc
I could write a book with all the excuses I see. I keep wondering why these people are not screened before they are allowed to have a dog in the first place. I wonder if these same people would give up the kids because of all these silly excuses. The sad part is that most of these people get rid of their animals but after a short time they get another one or two, three, etc, it just goes on and on.

[IRescue452]

The worst part about the excuses is when the animal is only a few months old. You didn't know you were having a baby 2 months ago? You didn't know your finances were bad? You didn't know your work schedule was too much for a puppy? I know circumstances change, but come on, you can't say you have to give up your 4 month old dog because you are moving and you had no idea 2 months ago that things may not be stable in your living situation. I won't buy that for adults unless you had a house fire or a hurricane.