Substituting for a Child?

[amoore]

When we moved away from all my family and friends . I was very lonely . That was like 12yrs ago . I had loved and owned cats ,birds ,and dogs before, i was just so lonely that i decided that i wanted to get a dog and a cat again. They really did help ease the loneliness i was feeling . I already moved here with cockateils and they meant a lot to me . I do love my pets like babies . They mean a lot to me . I can't say i got mine because i needed a baby . I just needed to have friends and family . Now i have babies !

[robinh]

My boyfriend and I have been together 21 years. When I met him he had three dogs. He called them his kids. Said he never wanted skin kids, so he never had any.

He helped raise my skin son. As we were doing that we raised and lost a couple of furkids. Now that my skin kid is married and on his own we are raising more furkids. Maybe they are not a substitute for skin kids, but a chance for both of us to pour out the love and affection we have to share. When and if my son and his wife have children, I don't expect they will suffer any less for our having furkids.

I'll agree with Dawn on this

Let's face it, when I come home from a rough day-they greet me and are always happy to see me. They never cheat or lie, and as long as I love them-they will love me and never turn on me. And when they grow up-they won't leave home. They are never ashamed of me or embarassed to be seen with me, and when I'm upset or down-they are always there to chear me up!

So if people tell you that you should or shouldn't have children, I'd ignore them. They may mean well, but they don't have all the facts. Lord knows there are enough people having children that don't have a clue what's happening. And you know if people had to spend a little time raising a puppy, they'd think twice about having a child. It's good training, but it's a lot of work.

[tomkatzid]

OK, just got on hold for 'Pack of Two' at the library. Love it when I can get another good book.

Co-workers have often said to me 'you are so good with your pets you would have made a great Mom'. I usually just say 'Thanks, my dogs love their Mommy.'
Katz

[popcornbird]

I don't have a dog, but people tell me the same thing about my birds...........except they tell me I'm substituting them for baby brothers/sisters, cause really, I'm still young and not married and it would make no sense for them to tell me to have a child already! But I know I will get that, when I get older.........because my love for animals is not going to fade, and I'm not going to have pets just because I *want* a child and to substitute for it. I will hopefully, probably have both children and pets when I'm older. I honestly like animals more than kids most of the time, but then when I think about it, I think I would want to have a little human girl, and maybe a boy too, sometime in my life, when I'm older.

Now I have this girl........my friend, tell me WHENEVER she comes to my house.....*Oh, you love your birds SO much! As if they're your babies*

Me.......* They are my babies!*

Her.......*Well, you see them as your babies now, but when you're older and have kids of your own, I'm sure you'll love them even more!*

Me........*I'm still young and don't want to think of kids right now........BUT, I will definitely love my kids if/when I have them. That doesn't mean my love for pets will fade. It only means that I'll have love for something else as well.*

Her.........*Of course you'll still love your birds! I'm just saying kids are special!*

Me........*I know..........but pets are just as special to me as anyone's kids are to them.*



Seriously, that girl's my friend and I do like her, but it gets on my nerves when she says this! I'm not substituting my pets for a human child, be it my babies or my siblings or whatever. I love them for who they are and nothing can substitute them in my lives.....I can say that.......but THEY aren't sustituting for anything in my life!

[amoore]

Popcorn :I think you are such an admirable young girl ,your so mature in your thinking ! I would be very proud of you if you were my daughter ,your parents are so luckey !
I love my Bird Babies too. How else can we say it ?

[stacwase]

I won't hesitate to admit that I use my animals as a substitute for more children. Since bob's girls are slowly leaving the nest the house is so quiet and we've been trying to have a baby and can't. So - the animals satisfy that need! In fact they satisfy it so well that I don't want to have any more babies anymore. I want to actually go on the pill! I wouldn't mind having a foster child or two though, in addition to the animals. I think Jake would be really good for a foster child. He'd sleep with them, etc. He'd be a good comfort.

[carole]

Gosh what if you do subsitute your pets for children, what on earth is wrong with that, as kay-ann pointed out, you almost do the same things for them as a child anyhow.

I never ever judge people who choose not to have children, for me I could not imagine my life without them, ok maybe for a minute, when they are annoying me, but seriously, my life would be just plain empty, but thats me , and its not for everyone.

To be frank even though I have children, my cats are still my babies, and I am sure even when my children have left home,and maybe I have grandchildren, my cats will still be my babies and treated as such., probably even more so than now.

Sometimes I think comments like that made, are through plain jealousy, they probably want something you have, maybe they are not capable of showing such devotion and love to a pet.

People just naturally assume if you are married you want children, today a lot of people are choosing not too, can you really blame them , with this unsafe, insecure world we live in.

I have two girlfriends who never had children, and honestly knowing them as I do, I think is was meant to be that way.

[KYS]

My whole family knows my dogs are my children.
Believe me they have learned to accept it.
I even get a mother's day card from my dogs,
that my AUnt give me. lol

[wolf_Q]

Yeah, I've heard that. I've also people, including family and a close friend, telling me that I "talk about my dogs too much." It upset me...but I'm not changing. I can't say "I'm sorry" for loving my dog too much. It's just me, and that's that. If you don't like it, then I guess you don't like me. I will never stop "being obsessed" with my dog.

[Kfamr]

Oh, I've got that too Amy.

Some people just don't get it!

[CathyBogart]

Hmm...I've never been outright accused of substituting pets for children...because anyone who knows me and my feelings about children knows that I love my pets VASTLY more!! ^.^

I don't see my love for my pets as "maternal instinct" because I think I lack that entirely. *chuckles* My co-workers think I'm completely bonkers because I swooned when a scorpion gave birth but I think skin babies are creepy looking.

[shais_mom]

I have to agree with what everyone else has said, do not have much more to add!
I get it all the time "you take more pics of the dog/cat'' "if you ever have a kid you won't be able to afford the processing of the film''
I am 28 years old, very single, and have no desire to have kids at this time. Do I get a pang of jealousy or sadness when I see people my age/younger with engagement rings/wedding rings on their fingers, spouse in hand, children in tow? Sometimes yes.
Do I get happiness and fulfillment and unconditional love from my pets. Definately Yes!! Never just sometimes.
I had a patient at work the other nite that was a SCREAMING one year old. The mother ( who was a nasty witch btw) kept asking me if I saw anything on the kids xrays. I kept telling her 'I am legally not allowed to tell you anything, that is what the Dr. does. If I tell you something that is wrong, I could lose my job, and my license (xray)" Finally after the THIRD time I told her that she says nastily "FINE" then "DO YOU HAVE CHILDREN?" I said "No" she said "WELL THEN"....... I was soooooo upset. It makes no difference or not whether I have children. My job depends on me NOT telling the patient anything. I am not a doctor.
The only good thing is that legally I didn't do anything wrong. Morally either b/c the law would stand behind me b/c I did exactly what I was supposed to. Like the excuse, "Well I don't have children" would have stood up in court when the witch of the mother decided to sue me b/c I told her the wrong thing!!! But if she might have been paying attention her kid wouldn't have pulled a dresser down on himself. Tho accidents happen. gggrrr
My sister had her first child, got a puppy then had her second. She refers to herself and my brother in law as mommy and daddy to Scooby. And her sons as Scooby's 'boys'. She is extremely protective of Scooby and Keegan when the boys are around.
A couple weeks ago I went to the Nat'l weiner dog races and there was a woman there with her family Holding her 14 year old weiner dog like a baby and she kept passing her around to her kids. They all took turns holding her and kissing her on the head and loving on her. They were all teenagers. I thought that was so cool b/c it takes a special person ( just like us pet talkers) to raise your children to be that devoted to a little 14 year old weiner dog that was so content when those kids were holding her she simply fell asleep.

[Kater]

Originally posted by shais_mom
A couple weeks ago I went to the Nat'l weiner dog races and there was a woman there with her family Holding her 14 year old weiner dog like a baby and she kept passing her around to her kids. They all took turns holding her and kissing her on the head and loving on her. They were all teenagers. I thought that was so cool b/c it takes a special person ( just like us pet talkers) to raise your children to be that devoted to a little 14 year old weiner dog that was so content when those kids were holding her she simply fell asleep.

Awwwww, how cuuute! Great mental picture too!

[amoore]

Our sweet pets fill the loving parts of our nature . It might be a need for a child , or a friend .
No mater if you have a bad hair day ,or don't get dressup pretty ,they still love us . Maybe we need an unconditional love . they serve our needs to love and be loved .

[Smilla]

Oh, tell me about it. Lefty doesn't care HOW bad I look when he wants to go for a walk ALL around the neighborhood!