What is the rudest question...

[Twisterdog]

Maybe more like, "How can you live in a house with all those kids?" rather than dogs, cats or birds!!!!

MY kids go to sleep when it gets dark and are quiet all night!
MY kids get put in a cage with a door for a time-out when they misbehave!
MY kids don't beg me for things whenever I go into a store.
MY kids love me unconditionally no matter what I look like, how much money I have or what kind of car I drive and do not expect to be driven by limosine to the school prom.

OK - 'nough said.

Not trying to start a fight, really ... but I have to say I was a little surprised and disappointed by this post. This is a thread about the rude and hurtful things others have said to us, and IMO, this post is both of those things.

It is indeed rude and hurtful when someone says derogatory things about our dogs, cats, birds, etc. I can empathise with pet owners who do not have children, having to field rude questions about things that are none of their business. However, is it not exactly the same thing to ridicule and put down people who have children simply because you chose not to have them?

I don't own birds or cats, but I am interested in others' birds and cats, and happy for them because they have something they love. I wouldn't criticize you, or tell you all the reasons my dogs/children/snakes are better than your cats/rabbits/birds. Respect and empathy is a two-way street.

Just seems to be a case of the pot calling the kettle black. "It's rude when people say derogartory things about my birds/dogs/cats, but I feel no qualms about saying derogatory things about their children."

[cassiesmom]

I've been asked the same question twice by this jerk in the mall here. It's one of those center kiosk (sp) things and the sales people are trying to sell their product. In this case it was these neck warmer wrap things. Anyway, I'm walking becide Quinn, and, not to toot my own horn or anything, but she's a stunning child. He looks at her, then looks at me, and then at her and gasps and says, "Oh my goodness, is she YOURS?" When I reply, "yes", he says (after looking at me then back at her, "WOW, she's gorgeous!". Yes I am aware she's a gorgeous child but Mister, I'm not a total hag. It's really insulting. That same man has said that same thing to me twice. I avoid that whole kiosk now. She is a pretty child, and I know I'm not a supermodel or anything, but I'm not a total hag and I am capable of producing a pretty child. GRRRR. It's so insulting. They way he says it, he's obviously surprised that such a pretty child is the product of me. I can't tell exactlly where he's from, but he has a strong accent (maybe Italian), so maybe in the country he's from, it's OK to be so rude.

I had a very embarrassing moment around that exact phrase. At my 15th year college reunion a friend was there with her daughter. Not an extremely close friend; we were in a couple of the same classes, did some group presentations together, that sort of thing. And she was coming toward me with a small child - we greeted one another and she said, "And this is (child's name)." I responded, "Wow! Is she yours?" Meaning, what happened - the last time we saw one another you were single with no intention of ever marrying, and now here you are with a child, and not a baby but a child who is walking and talking and yes, that is a wedding band on your left hand, so I guess the plans to remain single went bye-bye! I spoke before I thought. It was extremely embarrassing. Now I am careful to greet friends' and former classmates' children by saying, "Hello, it is very nice to meet you, (child's name)."

And adoremydogs, I always enjoy seeing pictures of Quinn!

[cassiesmom]

The gal I was dating asked me (Remember, I am half Mexican...) "What do you eat on Thanksgiving"?

I kept a straight face and told her, "Tacos, burritos, rice and beans".

RICHARD, what time is Thanksgiving dinner at your house?

[Catherinedana]

Just seems to be a case of the pot calling the kettle black. "It's rude when people say derogartory things about my birds/dogs/cats, but I feel no qualms about saying derogatory things about their children."

You are absolutely right. . .I finally got the chance to vent about all the years of getting questioned about my choice to be childless. Since I did not personally attack you and was responding to a blog by Richard, I would hope that you do not take it personally. I was attempting to make a joke of the issue (although a rather sarcastic one)>

This is a safe place to discuss and I allowed myself to feel safe enough to say what was on my mind, but will watch my words in future.

Cheers!
Cathy

[RICHARD]

RICHARD, what time is Thanksgiving dinner at your house?

All, as in all day.

-------------------------

Here's a great 'neutral' answer to a question that some Rude Butthead asks.


Stop the conversation, but a look on your face like you are thinking then say,
"No one has ever asked me that, Let me get back to you with an answer."

Then move on.

You do not owe anyone the time of effort if they insult you like that.

[Medusa]

All, as in all day.

-------------------------

Here's a great 'neutral' answer to a question that some Rude Butthead asks.


Stop the conversation, but a look on your face like you are thinking then say,
"No one has ever asked me that, Let me get back to you with an answer."

Then move on.

You do not owe anyone the time of effort if they insult you like that.

Usually, if someone asks me a question that's none of their business, I simply smile. If they then ask "Did you hear me?", I answer "Yes, I heard you. I'm ignoring you".

[RICHARD]

Usually, if someone asks me a question that's none of their business, I simply smile. If they then ask "Did you hear me?", I answer "Yes, I heard you. I'm ignoring you".

LOL,
That reminds me of the answer we used to use growing up.....
"who wants to know?"

[pomtzu]

LOL,
That reminds me of the answer we used to use growing up.....
"who wants to know?"

The one I remember using in my younger day was: "Are you writing a book? If so, leave that chapter out."

[cloverfdx]

"Are those real?" I'll leave it to your imagination to figure out to what he was referring.

Bahahaha me too, it does not bother me though lol.

I have a bit of a pot guts at the moment so i am waiting for someone to ask when the baby is due .

[Cincy'sMom]

About 2 years ago, I lost a good del of weight. One of my co-workers asked,

"Now that you have lost weight, are you going to have babies?"

Huh?

[smokey the elder]

Over 20 years ago, I liked to wear baggy peasant blouses, because they were cool (I had undiagnosed hyperthyroidism.) This jerk at work asked me more than once if I were pregnant. The 3rd time I told him the next time he harassed me we would have a visit with Human Resources. He shut his face after that.

The other one that sticks in my mind was when Smokey the Elder was diagnosed with cancer. When I shared this someone said, "So you're going to have her put to sleep?" I said, "Um...no. My pets are not disposable items." She apologized for her faux pas.

[momcat]

When hearing that I'm divorced the very first thing people would say is "Did he get married again?" To this day I cannot understand why anyone would ask such an insensitive, rude question! My responses varied between "Why do you ask?" "It's none of your d..n business!" and "He stays out of my personal life and I stay out of his. You need to do the same!" I found the last to be the most effective and started using it exclusively.

[Karen]

When hearing that I'm divorced the very first thing people would say is "Did he get married again?"

Wow, I cannot imagine asking that question, or even wondering that! You've gotta wonder what goes on in some people's brains!

[Catty1]

"Did he get married again?" "Why? Do you want his phone number?"

[Catherinedana]

When I split with my first husband, a "friend" (male) from work said to me, "I can't believe that you left him. . .he's such a nice guy! I always liked him so much!"

To which I replied, "Well, he's single now so go get 'em!"

Guess I have a bit of an attitude. . .