Dear Boo,
As a mommy I know sometimes I have to make very hard decisions, letting you go is the hardest decision I have ever had to make but because I love you so I knew I had to do right by you regardless of the excrutiating pain it has caused me. I still have a hard time grasping the fact that you were fine, your normal self yesterday morning and at around 5 p.m...you were gone. I stayed with you as I promised, I did not want you wondering where I went and I know you would stay with me.
You have changed me as a person. You had a paw in creating the person that I have become. You showed me love no matter my mood, stood beside me no matter the choice I made. You were there, always with soulful loving eyes and listening ears. You are my heart dog.
I was lying in bed last night, crying, thinking of you, listening to hear you breathing, the silence was maddening...when suddenly Champs breathing grew louder, the rhythm changed, she sounded just like you. I believe you were letting me know that you are still here with me. I looked for you this morning. You did not come over to get me so you could eat your breakfast or go out to potty. You did not bark when Oma showed up this morning to check on me...no one did. There was no happy "where's my cookie" dance and bark. The house is not the same. It is to quiet here...the silence actually hurts my ears. I listen so hard to hear something, your bark, your sigh, anything. We missed you at lunch today...you were not there to tell us it was taking us to long to eat...there was no airy whine coming from your spot telling us to hurry along your belly was hungry.
I slept with your pillow last night, I needed you near me. I smelled you this morning in the bedroom. I know it was you. There was no smell...then all of a sudden you were there...right beside me where you always were.
I cry and I try to remember all the wonderful times I had because of you, the laughs that you brought me. I would swear there was a person in there somewhere, a loving caring person. You are forever my Boo.
My life changed forever in September of 2000 when I saw that boxer puppies 4 sale sign and turned around "just to look". I knew you were the one, I felt it immediately. You came home with me that day. You wowed me with your intelligence and I think for the first time I had a dog, that wasn't "just a dog"...you were my family, my son, Jordan's brother. I have always known the bond between you and I was one of a kind...a bond I think only we could truly understand. I remember the sighing you would do in my ear when you were content. The kisses you would give me, the soft warm kisses of true love. The stare you would give when you were trying to communicate something...those deep brown eyes looking right into the heart of me. I knew you...I knew what you wanted.
I knew our time was closing, I wanted more but I guess even if we had been given a year I still would have wanted more. There would never be enough time. I would give anything in the world to have had you forever.
I thank you for loving me, for making me smile, for being my best friend...I thank you for being you.
My life will never be the same because of you, I am forever greatful for every moment that we had together. I am greatful that I worked at home and you were by my side always. I am greatful for all the times that you opened the bathroom door so you could see what I was doing...or the times you waited outside the door for me to come out. You were always there...I don't exactly know how to handle you not being there.
Love,
Your forever broken hearted Mom
Duke "My Boo"
8/7/00-01/20/10
The day my life changed...
The way I will always remember you.
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