Help!! My boyfriend's cat hates me...

[Shelteez2]

Is there any way you can get a cat to like you?

My boyfriend's cat is so not impressed with me and it hurts my feelings. She used to be okay with me, would come up and let me pet her, would bring me toys to throw for her (yes she fetches like a dog), but then one day I went over to his place when he wasn't there and she hissed at me and swatted at me.

Now she always growls and hisses at me and swats at me if I walk by her. She will still come up to me occassionally and let me pet her, more so if my bf is there too. Mostly I've been trying to ignore her and not force the issue.

I'm more of a dog person than a cat person (in regards to knowing behavior) so any tips would be greatly appreciated.

[Glacier]

Does she like catnip or certain treats? Perhaps she can be bribed!?

One of my own cats hates me! In Polly Paws' mind, I am good only for opening her fancy feast and scooping her poop! I am not allowed to pet her for more than second or two and picking her up leads to new scars! However, her beloved Daddy can do whatever he wants to her! She seeks him out, follows him around mewing until he pays attention to her. She snuggles with him, purrs at him, ect. She's an ungrateful little thing--I saved her just minutes before Animal Control was going to put her down, but does she care? Nope, not one bit! I love her anyway!

[Shelteez2]

According to my bf I've bought her more toys in the three months we've been together than he's bought her in the 2 years he's had her.... lol

He always accuses me of getting his cat high when I give her catnip so I don't do it that often.... lol Not that he's being serious, but I'm actually worried that the catnip will heighten her response towards me, instead of making her more mellow.... lol

I know it sounds silly, but it really gets to me that she doesn't like me.

[Catty1]

I guess she will always prefer him over you, since she's HIS cat...but maybe you could do things together with her...even sitting side by side on the couch, with kitty sharing both laps (his at first) and getting attention from him AND you.

You know what I mean? If she hisses at you, he can pick her up and say, "Hey, don't hiss (said in nice cat talk) - this is (your name). She likes you. See?" And if it is safe, he can hold her near you while he says this.

Maybe she just needs more reinforcement from "dad" that you are ok!

hugs
Catty1

[AbbyMom]

At the shelter where I volunteer, we discovered that Whiskas Templations treats can, er... encourage friendship? Seriously, if a cat loves them (most of them do), they will take immediate friendly notice of you.

Good luck!

[auggie]

Has this cat met your dogs?
Maybe she is hissing at you because she can smell your dogs.
I think you’re doing g the right thing by ignoring her and not forcing the issue. I’m sure with time she will come around. In the meanwhile how about giving her some of her favorite treats whenever she is behaving nicely towards you.
I understand what you’re saying about the catnip, it seems to make one of my cats more aggressive than usual.
I found that cats can be extremely jealous.
If you spent a lot of times at your bf’s place she will learn to tolerate you and with time even like you. LOL!

[Shelteez2]

Thanks for the suggestions everybody.

I am not above bribing so I will try the treats. My one cat likes them a lot.

Beatle (my bf's cat) has not met my dogs, as his place is too small and I wouldn't do that to her. There's no where she could really get away. He thought she was reacting to the smell of dog too, but I always smell like dogs (I'm a dog groomer) and she didn't do this at first....

I will try taking some treats over and see if that helps. Thanks for all help.

[moosmom]

I think Auggie is right. She might smell your dog's scent on you. Do you have any history on her? Was she maybe abused by a woman??? Or maybe she's just very attached to your bf. In either case, I think cat treats are in order. Good luck.

Years ago (at least 20 if not more) I hated cats. My Dad's cat Jessie hated me. When Dad and my stepmother got married, I cared for Jessie for a week while they were on their honeymoon. I took care of her at my apt. (bad idea as cat's do not like change). She hid under my waterbed and would hiss and growl at me when I attempted to pet her. She was a true bitch.

[catmandu]

You Will Just Have To Be Patient , With Her And Be A Friend To Her, And She Will Eventually Come Around To Be Your Friend.

[Shelteez2]

I think Auggie is right. She might smell your dog's scent on you. Do you have any history on her? Was she maybe abused by a woman??? Or maybe she's just very attached to your bf. In either case, I think cat treats are in order. Good luck.

Years ago (at least 20 if not more) I hated cats. My Dad's cat Jessie hated me. When Dad and my stepmother got married, I cared for Jessie for a week while they were on their honeymoon. I took care of her at my apt. (bad idea as cat's do not like change). She hid under my waterbed and would hiss and growl at me when I attempted to pet her. She was a true bitch.

My bf adopted her from the spca when she was approx 4 months old. She is 2 years old now. Who knows what happened in her first 4 months of life. I will keep trying to be patient and let her come to me.

Thanks for the advice.