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Thread: Quote for Edwina's Secretary ;)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2001
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    Stockton, CA
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    Quote for Edwina's Secretary ;)

    An extended quote from Christopher Moore's "The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror" ...

    Sorry, E'sS, when I read this I thought of you and laughed aloud! Hope it brings you a chuckle, too. (Perhaps it needs to be in context? Pine Cove is a small community a bit south of Monterey, CA. It is about to be blessed with a Christmas miracle. Sadly, it will be granted by the stupidest angel from heaven. So the citizens bolted in the town hall fighting off the resultant zombies are less than thrilled with their personal miracle of life.... Enough background!)

    ...

    Winter denial -- Theo did it, most Californians did it -- they assumed that because the weather was nice most of the time, it would be nice all of the time, and so, in the midst of a rainstorm, you'd find people outdoors without an umbrella, or when nights dipped into the thirties, you'd still see someone dip-pumping his gas in surfer shorts and a tank top. So even as the National Weather Service was telling the Central Coast to batten down the hatches, as they were about to get the storm of the decade, and even though winds were gusting to fifty knots a full day before the storm made landfall, the people of Pine Cove carried on with their holiday routine like nothing out of the ordinary could happen to them.

    Winter denial: therein lay the key to California Schadenfreude -- the secret joy that the rest of the country feels at the misfortune of California. The country said: "Look at them, with their fitness and their tans, their beaches and their movie stars, their Silicon Valley and silicone breasts, their orange bridge and their palm trees. God, I hate those smug, sunshiny bastards!" Beacause if you're up to your navel in a snowdrift in Ohio, nothing warms your heart like the sight of California on fire. If you're shoveling silt out of your basement in the Fargo flood, nothing brightens your day like watching a Malibu mansion tumbling down a cliff into the sea. And if a tornado just peppered the land around your Oklahoma town with random trailer trash and redneck nuggets, then you can find a quantum of solace in the fact that the earth actually opened up in the San Fernando Valley and swallowed a whole caravan of commuting SUVs. ...


    Other titles by C. Moore are:
    The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove
    Island of the Sequined Love Nun
    Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
    Bloodsucking Fiends
    Coyote Blue
    Practical Demonkeeping
    and
    Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings
    Last edited by AmberLee; 03-09-2005 at 06:58 PM.
    I'm sometimes asked "Why do you spend so much of your time and money talking about kindness to animals when there is so much cruelty to men?" I answer: "I am working at the roots." -George T. Angell, reformer (1823-1909)



    Thank you, Popcornbird for creating this tribute to Summer starring Livvy and Cassy

    Livvy: 11 April 99 - 5 July 09
    Cassy: 11 July 99 - 8 April 11

    If you would like to visit my BeautiConsultant page --
    http://www.beautipage.com/serene_angel_hm_spa/

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Cincinnati, Ohio USA
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    LOL! Poor Sara....he he he.

  3. #3
    Yes....California...land of perfect weather....right! I finally went and got my California Driver's License. I was tired of pulling out my Illinois License and having people say....."Oh....don't you just LOVE the weather here???" Yeah, right...like I've never seen rain before? Well, I have never seen rain before that cause whole towns to slide down a hillside! ANd, of course, I get NO sympathy from "back home".....no matter how many times I say I would rather have snow....no one believes me....

    Thanks for the chuckle Amberlee...

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Stockton, CA
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    Glad it brought you a tiny chuckle!
    I'm sometimes asked "Why do you spend so much of your time and money talking about kindness to animals when there is so much cruelty to men?" I answer: "I am working at the roots." -George T. Angell, reformer (1823-1909)



    Thank you, Popcornbird for creating this tribute to Summer starring Livvy and Cassy

    Livvy: 11 April 99 - 5 July 09
    Cassy: 11 July 99 - 8 April 11

    If you would like to visit my BeautiConsultant page --
    http://www.beautipage.com/serene_angel_hm_spa/

  5. #5
    Originally posted by Edwina's Secretary
    Yes....California...land of perfect weather....right! I finally went and got my California Driver's License. I was tired of pulling out my Illinois License and having people say....."Oh....don't you just LOVE the weather here???" Yeah, right...like I've never seen rain before? Well, I have never seen rain before that cause whole towns to slide down a hillside! ANd, of course, I get NO sympathy from "back home".....no matter how many times I say I would rather have snow....no one believes me....

    Thanks for the chuckle Amberlee...
    Hey...but it IS land of the perfect weather! Just look at that gorgeous sunshine outside. He he he!!! For some reason...I have a feeling its going to rain again soon though.

    Seriously though...we do have perfect weather almost year-round. Its just this year...and its all your fault. LOLLL

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
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    I'm not sure, what day is it? ;-)
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    Sara, we're supposed to get anywhere from a dusting to an inch tonight and into tomorrow. Want me to send you some?
    Tubby
    Spring 1986 - Dec. 11, 2004
    RIP Big Boy
    -----------
    Peanut
    Fall 1988 - Jan. 24, 2007
    RIP Snotty Girl
    -----------
    Robin
    Fall 1997 - Oct. 6, 2012
    RIP Sweet Monkeyhead Girl

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
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    Just HOW DO YOU solve a problem like Maria?
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    I LOVED that book. What's not to love about book that has Ikea loving zombies?
    Goonies never say die!



    Thanks Amy for the great sig!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2003
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    Killearn, Scotland
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    Well worth looking out some of Christopher Moore's titles, I think. Thanks for the tip!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Stockton, CA
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    Enjoy! I do get a kick out of his twisted humor!
    I'm sometimes asked "Why do you spend so much of your time and money talking about kindness to animals when there is so much cruelty to men?" I answer: "I am working at the roots." -George T. Angell, reformer (1823-1909)



    Thank you, Popcornbird for creating this tribute to Summer starring Livvy and Cassy

    Livvy: 11 April 99 - 5 July 09
    Cassy: 11 July 99 - 8 April 11

    If you would like to visit my BeautiConsultant page --
    http://www.beautipage.com/serene_angel_hm_spa/

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